


In A Field Of Snow Drops And Anemones

by hansungchan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Drama, Fluff, Huang Ren Jun-centric, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, renjun needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansungchan/pseuds/hansungchan
Summary: So far, Injun discovered these three horrible things as soon as he wakes up from his supposed death.First, this is not heaven. Nor is this Earth. To make sense of everything he had seen and heard ‘til now, he is pretty confident that he is inside a novel. In the fictional kingdom called Lyndria. The very one from his favorite book.Second, he is not dead. For some reason, he is not totally alive either. Why? That leads us to fact number three.He is living in someone else’s body. A body from one of the fictional characters in that same novel he likes the most as a teen.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung, Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin, Na Jaemin/Park Jisung, Na Jaemin/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ!!! 
> 
> Warning for implied/referenced character death in this chapter. Some extremely sensitive topics and heavy angst cover this first chapter. Domestic violence, rape, suicide, and depression will be written and implied. So read at your own risk! Though they are not specifically described, they are present. So if topics such as these trigger you, please please SKIP it right away! No worries, I assure y'all this is a light fanfiction with a little bit of drama and angst along the way. After this chapter, there will be no such scenes again. LOL. Or if there is, I'll make sure to put a warning beforehand. But I can assure you, this is nothing but a self-indulgent fic from someone who reads way too many Isekai themed webtoons/manhwas. Basically, I write this fic to show my love for Huang Renjun my lovely bias lmao.
> 
> This is based on a manhwa I read a year before. 
> 
> UNEDITED. I did not proofread this chapter. I've no time and am too lazy so bear with the grammatical errors. 
> 
> \- sungchan

The clock strikes 2 and Injun can’t help but glance at the cheap watch dangling on his wrist. A tired sigh escaping the black-haired boy’s lips. It was yet another day he survived at work. Leaving his station, he bid goodbye to Larry, the bartender in charge at the dingy bar he works at.

To be more precise, Injun is one of your average adults who survives life by working his ass off at a worn-out, suspicious bar located on the bad side of the town. Why? Injun could give you a lot of reasons. But on top of his list is simply the reason he belongs there. Without a degree, a once 18-year-old male who left home after barely finishing high school, it is simply hard for him to find a job- a _decent_ one (well, not that his job is not decent, really. After all, there is nothing wrong with serving people. It’s more like the customers, the environment, and basically everything that is related to his job was the ones that are _not_ decent).

Anyway, now that he’s 24 years old, it doesn’t matter anymore. He long accepted that this will be his life until he dies. At least, he could pay his rent and afford edible foods enough to get him through his everyday struggles.

‘ _And come to think of it, today is the end of the month. Which means...’_

“Here’s your paycheck for this month, Injun. Good work today,” his boss, a man named Gijin, handed him the white envelope that consists of his long-awaited salary.

Smiling, he bowed at the taller man, “Thank you so much, boss. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Gijin, being a man of few words, only nodded his head and went back to whatever he’s doing earlier before Injun knocked on his office’s door. Injun took it as a sign to leave. After all, it's already 2 a.m in the morning. Though he’s already familiar with this part of town, he still needs to be careful at all costs.

Once he arrived at his apartment, the first thing he noticed is the unlocked door. _‘Is Sejin already home?’_

Sejin is his high school sweetheart. Despite his parents’ warnings, he fell head over heels for the man he once described as his prince charming, a knight that will give him his happy ending. See, Injun used to believe in fairytales, he was once a hopeless romantic darling. Whatever happened to that person he used to be, Sejin is the one to blame.

Only after he ran away with the other, Sejin promising him a life filled with only happiness and rainbows, did he realize the true face behind that charming facade. Alas, Sejin is nothing but a worthless man.

Injun cannot even sigh in disappointment anymore after seeing the scattered socks and shoes that Sejin just mindlessly threw over their small apartment. Nor is the necktie that disgustingly smells like a woman’s perfume. He doesn’t even bat an eyelash when he saw the hickey on his partner’s neck. Though his nose wrinkled in disgust at the strong smell of alcohol that reeks the boy.

Injun lets him occupy the bed, and decides to sleep on the small couch outside. Only when he had his palms underneath his cheeks, eyes staring blankly at the closed door where Sejin is sleeping inside, does he ponder about life over and over again.

Lately, it seems like that’s all he was doing. Rethink his life choices, regret all the mistakes he made in the past. Wondering of the what-ifs had he only make even the slightest different choice before.

Would he have been a successful doctor by now like how his parents wanted? Would ha have passed that university he applied for? (Ah, he realized if he only stayed for a day or two before leaving with Sejin, he would have known the results of his application). How were his parents? Are they still mad at him? Are they perhaps... disappointed? What will they say if they saw their pitiful son’s situation right now?

‘ _What if I walked out that door and return home?’_

Home. _‘Do I still have a home?’_

That question always makes him cry a tear or two.

***

There is a book Injun remembered liking very much when he was a naive 16-year-old. If his memory is right, he bought it in his favorite bookstore back in his hometown. An old shop managed by a kind lady. The books she sells there do not really follow the trends or what are called “popular” books in this generation. However, it is of rarity. Old, worn-out but still perfectly intact books in yellowish pages with a smell that Injun likes so much. Injun liked to spend his weekend scrolling through shelves and finding a new treasure to discover.

It is there where he saw it for the first time. A romantic novel that flutters Injun’s heart in excitement and made him fall in love with love. The kind of book where Injun wished he was the main character instead just because life would be so much fun if he is.

Looking back now, with the very said item in Injun’s hand, a bitter smile escaped his lips. It’s been years, he almost forgot he brought the book with him when he ran away from his old home.

Living with Sejin, Injun understands he had to give up everything. His comfortable home, education, a chance of a better life, _his parents_. Among them are the many books he collected and displayed through the bookshelf he once owned. It was funny how this is the only thing left after so many years. The novel he considered his favorite.

Sighing, Injun looked around. Well, what’s there to do? He’s already finished with the house chores. It’s his off from work and there’s really nothing left for him to do. The spontaneity that whispered behind Injun’s ears, he brushed off the cover of the novel and read the book from the beginning.

The story begins in a palace called _Lyndria_. It is where the imperial family reigns and serves their people. The current emperor is a great one, a man named Taeyong. His son, the crown prince Donghyuck, is the male lead of the story.

Pretty much, it is a Cinderella-like story. Though in this novel, the main character does not only have one Prince charming. But _four_ of them.

 _Donghyuck_ is the crown prince. It’s safe to say he and the main character end up together after passing through a few trials and hardships in their way. He is very charming, handsome with sun-kissed skin and attractive moles that the main character likes to compliment and touch whenever Donghyuck is asleep. He is said to be playful, he likes to fool around with noblewomen and even noblemen and servants at first. However, when he met the main character, he is astounded by his beauty. It was love at first sight. The main character’s kindness, a bright alluring smile that could put the sun in shame- those are what captured the playful Prince’s heart from the start.

The second male lead is a boy named _Jisung_. The youngest son of the Duke. Though he is expected to follow in his father’s footsteps and support the kingdom and the emperor, he likes to do things his way. He is free-spirited, almost never home. The author described Jisung as someone who doesn’t wanna concern himself with political affairs. Thus, he likes to travel, hunt, and pretty much just appear whenever he feels like it. His personality is cold though, and a little aloof. But deep down, he’s simply shy and doesn’t know how to handle a conversation with someone. He has a good relationship with Dongyhyuck, the Crown Prince. Though it will be put to test once they fall in love with the same person.

The third male lead is a wolf. _Yukhei_ is his name. Right, Injun remembers this novel is not just a simple romance genre book. It also has its elements of fantasy and magic. Yukhei belongs in that category. He is the youngest in his pack but is also the strongest. He is cocky, never listens to others, and is set to be the next leader. At first, Yukhei holds this abhorrence and disgust towards humans. As he believed humans are a threat to their race. He is raised to hate them and to avoid them no matter what. But one day, Yukhei would meet the main character in the forest. In a situation where he is ambushed and completely helpless, all surrounded by an opposing wolf pack who wished to put Yukhei and his family down, the main character arrives and will save the injured wolf. He healed Yukhei, and Yukhei vowed to always protect the boy whose his life he owed.

The last but not the least though is _Mark_. Mark, if anything, is the richest man in the whole kingdom. The author implied he might just be richer than the Emperor himself. But that’s only because of the illegal business he’s operating in the capital. Of course, it was later on revealed by the Crown Prince Donghyuck, and Mark met his terrible end. However, Mark truly loved the main character. He is the first one who will approach him and be charmed by his beauty and kindness. Thus, Mark will do _anything_ to be with him. He will offer the main character all the wealth in the world- jewelry, gold, a kingdom of his own. So when the main character chose the Crown Prince instead of him- well, you can say Mark completely _lost_ it.

And so, the main character that everybody loves and is the star of the novel. The fictional and non-existent character that Injun wished to be from long ago, is none other than _Jaemin_. Jaemin is described as a cheerful, optimistic boy who despite the hardships he’d gone through in his childhood, was able to endure it all and in the end, is gifted by the fate of a happy ending. Jaemin is a healer. He was adopted by Emperor Jaehyun at the age of 15 when the latter realized his astounding skills in healing. The kingdom of Yrvana, one located in the South, is where Jaehyun reigns. It was a magical kingdom and his people were gifted with the talent of what they call _mana_. Everyone in Yrvana has the blessing of God, Jaemin is one of them. Jaemin is everything a main character should be. Beautiful with blonde hair, dazzling smile that could melt even the coldest hearts, a beautiful laugh, and a kind personality.

Injun wished he was Jaemin.

Injun deeply envies Jaemin.

It’s funny, that even when all these fairy-tale-like stories sound ridiculous to him now, he still longs for this kind of _love_. Deep inside, Injun still does.

Even when he snorts after reading the scribbled _and they lived happily ever after_ on the last page, there is warmth in Injun’s heart. One he thought he’d completely lost when every hope in his life faded.

He glances around. “Ah, I was too occupied by reading I completely lost track of time.”

It’s already dark. It was evening. A few hours from now Sejin will be back. Hopefully, he’s too drunk to even spare a glance at Injun.

_Hopefully._

***

It is to Injun’s horror when Sejin came back, staggering at the door as he barely kept himself up on his own feet. Slurry, drunken words came as a greeting for his longtime partner, then followed by a peal of manic laughter. The stench of alcohol and something along illegal substances clouded the man Injun once loved.

“Sejin, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Injun tries to remain calm, scolding the other despite the small voice in his head telling him not to do anything but run.

“Ah! Injunnie... My pretty, pretty Injunnie,” Sejin attempted to grab Injun in the collar, only to completely fall down the floor when Injun swiftly avoids the other’s hand.

“The fuck are you running away from bitch?! Come here and pleasure me. Do your duty as my partner for once!” Sejin growled in anger.

Injun’s heart almost jumped out of his ribcage. “Sejin, please. Just get some rest, I’ll prepare the bed for you okay? You’re tired,” he spoke with his voice quivering.

“Oh but I’d rather have the bed messy with you underneath me baby.” Sejin grabbed Injun’s wrists and pinned them harshly to the wall. His dirty fingernails creating moon-like marks on Injun’s skin.

“Sejin, stop! Please! Let go of me!”

“Fucking shut up, you whore!” A slap landed on Injun’s cheek.

At that point, Injun can not feel a single thing anymore. As he could only let his tears fall in silence while the hands that once held him with care violently rips the piece of clothing in his body. Injun couldn’t even allow himself to scream. Is it the tiredness? Or the hopelessness that he will never be heard? He was never heard before, what makes the difference now?

Not even a single God heard his pleas. Instead, Injun closed his eyes, hands clenched. As he was roughly slammed by the weight of Sejin, he wished he was dead.

‘ _Ah, no. I’m already dead. This world... killed me a long, long time ago.’_

Injun had long stopped believing in God. Nor to the kindness of people. Or in hope, in dreams, and all those stupid shits people kept holding on in this useless gift they called life. _‘This is not a gift, it’s a curse. I wish nothing to do with it.’_

Like a worthless mannequin, Sejin left him just like that. As if he did not ruin Injun. As if he did not break him. As if he did not love him once (that is if he truly did).

But alas, even a mannequin was dressed properly and tucked warmly in the corner after using it by its owner. Injun, on the other hand, was simply left unattended with his back pressed against the cold walls. Unmoving and barely blinking.

His clothes shredded and scattered. Injun feels so dirty he wished he could skin himself alive.

Injun is so mad at the world. But at the same time he feels so tired and empty he had no other choice but to swallow down the fiery pit of hell that is blossoming in his heart. There are so many chances, so many things that he could have done. So many times to escape this kind of fate.

Why did he not realize? When did they all disappear? For right now, the door for a better tomorrow is gone. Faded somewhere in the dark hollow pit Injun caved himself in. There is no other choice...

It’s ironic how Injun still finds the strength to get up and walk towards the crisp cold breeze of the evening air. Nothing but a pair of old sweaters, loose jeans, and tattered slippers to wear. Perhaps this is his last attempt to save himself from his fate.

For his fate is already rotten, it cannot be changed. Therefore, to save himself from it, he needs to _end_ it.

With an empty smile, he looks up at the heaven. “Watch me. Watch me toss away this so-called _gift_ you gave me. If you are real, go and stop me.”

Maybe he’ll regret this. Maybe he’ll get out of the way a second before the speeding truck crushes his body. Maybe he’ll cry and wished he didn’t have to do this once he felt the irrevocable pain of dying seconds before his eyes closed permanently.

Maybe dying is not really the answer and he’ll realize it a little too late. Maybe he could still turn things around.

A sad smile appeared on Injun’s lips. Only then did it occur to him how pathetic he had become. One who is not even strong enough to live nor brave enough to die.

Hot, angry tears welled under his eyes. Injun hates himself. He hates himself for making all the wrong decisions and running away once he reaped the consequences. He hates himself for regretting and mulling over the past instead of doing something to change his future for the better. He hates himself for leaving his parents, he wished he could at least see them one last time.

Oh how he wished he could change his life now. If only he were someone else.

_Beeeeeeppppp!_

If he’s only a bit stronger, braver, prettier, powerful, wiser.

_Beeeeeeppppp!_

“Just like Jaemin from that novel...”

Jaemin, who endured it all and was able to create a happy future for himself.

_Beeeeeeppppp!_

Perhaps only then he would have a chance.

_Crash!_

‘ _Ah, so this is how it feels to kiss death...’_

***

“...Master!”

Dazzling, blinding lights, Injun’s eyes were barely opened before they gave up again due to the overwhelming brightness that welcomed his sight. Then there are heavy and hurried footsteps, hushed whispers. But most importantly, a soft tap on his cheek.

“Young Master, can you hear me?”

‘ _Young Master?’_

Someone... an unfamiliar face that greeted Injun’s half-opened eyes. Though the sight is blurry and he cannot make of the man’s features (he’s sure it’s a man because of the deep and manly voice whispering in his ear), the more he tried to blink away the sleepiness that clearer his vision gets. Until he could fully observe the face of a stranger hovering above him.

“Young Master, you’re finally awake! Hurry. Yona! Call for the doctor right away!”

“Yes, Ten!”

“Who...?” Injun is beyond confused. What in the world is going on? Didn’t he just die a few minutes ago?

‘ _Or is it hours? Days? Weeks?’_ Ah, whatever. The thing is, Injun was supposed to be _dead_. So who the hell are these people?! And why the hell is he still alive?!

Unless this is the afterlife...

Now that he thinks about it, that could be a plausible explanation for all these. Though he could barely move due to the heavy feeling in his entire body, the comfort brought by the softness and warmth of the mattress underneath him is surely a luxury he could not afford if he were on Earth. And this room... since when did he has such a room as big and elegant as this?

‘ _No, it can’t be. I doubt this is the paradise. If such place exists, do I even belong there?’_

“Young Master, how are you feeling? Please speak, this servant is very worried for Young Master,” the man from earlier spoke in a soft yet worried voice.

“What did you-” Injun coughed. Yeah, this is totally not the paradise. If it is, his throat wouldn’t be this dry and he wouldn’t crave so much for water as if his life depended on it. Now it just feels like he would collapse if he hadn’t as so much got a single drop.

“Wa-ter...”

“What are you all doing?! Give the Young Master his water!”

It doesn’t take a few seconds before a water is shoved on his hand. And Injun sat up, chugging the whole glass down to drench his throat.

“Are you okay now, Young Master? Please stay still, I already asked Yona to call for the head doctor,” the same man from earlier, who keeps calling Injun ‘Young Master’, said after Injun handed him the glass water.

“What did you call me?” Injun finally uttered.

“What do you mean Young Master?”

“ _That._ Why... are you calling me _that_?”

The man, now that Injun was able to scan him properly from head to toe, is identified as a servant by him due to the obvious uniform, tilts his head in confusion, and said nonchalantly, “Because that is how we should address, isn’t it?”

“Where am I?” he almost stuttered.

“You’re making me worried, Young Master. Please lay back down, I can sense you’re still not well. Let us wait for the doctor to arrive. He’ll be here any minute-”

Injun does not have to hear anymore. Not minding the constant pounding on his head and the way his sight was almost swallowed by darkness, he abruptly stood up. Walking as if he was finding something. Something that even he did not know what.

The first thing he noticed though is the soft, thick red carpet. Thanks to that it does not matter that he did not put on any footwear. Though the servants panicked (just how big is this room to have this many servants gathering inside?!) when their Young Master went walking barefooted. Other than that, Injun ignored their callings and instead focused on the golden ornaments and displays around the room. A showcase of wealth by its owner. There was a huge painting hanging on one side of the wall. Its frame aligned by real crystals and topaz, the object itself is made of gold. In the center stood the image of a young man- fair white skin, pointed nose that accentuates his small face, dark brown eyes that seemed to be staring straight into your soul, thin pinkish lips that look so soft, and pink hair that is as pretty as the rose.

Injun quickly looks into the mirror as soon as he found one.

“No, it can’t be...”

“Young Master, what is the problem? Please calm down and let us get you back to bed.”

‘ _What’s the problem? This... This is the problem! I was dead but then I’m not?! What kind of bullshit is this?!’_

In front of Injun stood the very boy from that painting on the wall. Dark brown eyes, fair white skin, red soft lips, pinky rose hair. Injun touched his face.

“Young Master Renjun, please listen to me! I beg of you!”

Slowly, he looked back to the servant. Eyes wide and skin pale as if he just saw a ghost.

“What... did you... c-call me?”

“Young Master Renjun?”

He gasps. Looking back into the mirror in horror.

“No, it can’t be...” he whispered.

So far, Injun discovered these three horrible things as soon as he wakes up from his supposed death.

First, this is not heaven. Nor is this Earth. To makes sense of everything he had seen and heard ‘til now, he is pretty confident that he is inside a novel. In the fictional kingdom called Lyndria. The very one from his favorite book.

Second, he is not dead. For some reason, he is not totally alive either. Why? That leads us to fact number three.

He is living in someone else’s body. A body from one of the fictional characters in that same novel he likes the most as a teen.

Though it seems like fate is not on his side still. The body he wished for is Jaemin’s- the main character.

Not of _Renjun’s_.

 _Renjun_ \- his least favorite character in the novel. _Renjun_ \- the boy whose heart was filled with nothing but anger and jealousy. _Renjun_ \- who will face a tragic end upon the last few pages of the novel.

 _Renjun_ \- the _antagonist_ who will do anything in his power to ensure Jaemin would not have his happily ever after.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is unedited. Don't worry, things will definitely get better for Renjun, I promise. 
> 
> \- sungchan

_‘Okay, let’s think over this calmly and rationally, Injun...’_

Ruffling his soft, baby pink hair, Injun sat on the edge of his large bed. Ever since he shooed off all the servants along with the doctor they get for him, he’s been pacing back and forth occasionally slapping himself just to see if he’s dreaming or not. Apparently, he’s not. The slap hurts, yet he’s still here.

He sighed, looking at the now empty room. “Okay, time to get the facts straight.”

Somehow, magically, he ends up transmigrating inside the world of a fictional book. Judging his appearance, he is also very sure of who he just became. He just didn’t know why.

_‘Could this be an afterlife? Am I dead? Did my spirit somehow possess this body? So where am I exactly? Inside a book?’_

There are so many questions overflowing inside Injun’s head. But not a single one of them is answered. His eyes wandered to the glass full of water beside his bed. His doctor, or rather Renjun’s, dropped by and had asked him to drink the bitter medicine he provided. The middle-aged man advised him to rest the whole day. Apparently, Renjun had been sick and is unconscious for a few days.

Injun smiled bitterly. Of course. How could he forget?

This body... Renjun- is someone who is destined to meet a terrible end.

He is not entirely sure what he will get out of this, but he found himself sitting in front of the marvelous mirror. Deep brown eyes of a pale yet very beautiful boy stared back at him. Maybe it was the fulfillment of seeing a character from a novel he once liked that triggered a smile from his lips. Or maybe it was the first that he looked at the mirror and is met with such a pretty sight.

Injun sighed. He feels sorry for himself.

The novel- _Nana And His Four Knights-_ revolves around the heroine, Na Jaemin. A bright, young man who was orphaned at such a young age. Born with a commoner’s blood flowing in his veins, the novel told of his struggles and his perseverance- his hardships and all the love he received along the way. It was a lovely story- his life. From a poor orphan who soon discovered his power to heal people, he is such a blessing to those in need, and in return for his good deeds, Jaemin is treated with such respect and kindness by everyone who knew him. He is simply loved by everyone he meets.

Jaemin is soon discovered by Emperor Jaehyun of the magical kingdom of Yrvana- where all the mages, healers, and wizards are. Seeing his potential, the lone Emperor with no heir nor a partner adopted Jaemin and took him under his wing. Jaemin spent most of his time practicing his healing power and gift with a goal to help those in need.

In a banquet held by Emperor Taeyong of Lyndria, Jaemin came together with his adopted father, Emperor Jaehyun. Though his identity as Jaehyun’s heir was not revealed yet in public, everyone thought Jaemin is just one of those nobles from neighboring kingdoms. Still, he captured the hearts of everyone he talks to that day. One of ‘em is the Crown Prince’s.

Donghyuck, who feels suffocated at the palace after having another fight with his fiance. Donghyuck visited the garden, thinking no one would be there. Under the bright silhouette of the moonlight, he was met with the startled Jaemin who only went there due to his curiosity towards the flowers in the kingdom’s garden. They had a long conversation that easily flows out and they both deeply enjoyed. And without noticing the clock strikes 12 and Jaemin hurriedly went back to the banquet to go home with his father. Donghyuck, failing to ask Jaemin of his family name, sighed in vain. That night, the Crown Prince who never felt love has his heart beating for the first time.

Well, of course, they met again. Just because it’s fate and they were the main characters of the story.

Injun chuckled, shaking his head.

_So what of Renjun?_

Renjun stares back at the mirror, his chuckles turning into a sad smile.

Renjun is the very opposite of Jaemin. Born as the Duke’s first son, Renjun is used to getting everything he wants in just a snap of a finger. Yeah, he’s your typical snotty brat rich kid. He doesn’t care about others, he treats his servant like a mere toy he owns. One he could stomp on and throw away whenever he feels like it. Unlike Jaemin, Renjun is not very bright. He hated studying and reading. There is a chapter in the novel dedicated to where Renjun and Jaemin had to recite a poem for Emperor Taeyong. Jaemin amazes everyone with his outstanding skill of delivering the verse without a single flaw in the pronunciation and lines. While Renjun... well, you could say even Injun feels embarrassed just by reading what happened as if he were in Renjun’s shoes.

As the son of the Duke, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Renjun only knows how to spend his money and socialize along with the other nobles. Many nobles kissed his feet due to his high status only fueling the boy’s pride and ego. Renjun is someone who lacks sympathy, narcissist, and is selfish. But there is a person Renjun loves so much he’s willing to ruin his life just for him.

_Lee Donghyuck, the Crown Prince._

Indeed, it was a cliche story. With a love triangle drama that involves the heroine, male lead, and the antagonist. Renjun is also the current fiance of the Crown Prince before Donghyuck met Jaemin and officially turned his back on the engagement. It caused such a ruckus and Injun remembered laughing and snickering at the pitiful state Renjun met in the end.

Because of the scandal, Renjun ends up with an image of someone who was left behind by the Crown Prince. He lost everyone in the middle. His family, his power, his so-called friends, his pride- everything that defines him until Jaemin came along. He lost to Jaemin. Blinded with anger and jealousy, he tried to kill the heroine at the climax of the novel. But is then stopped by the Crown Prince and the other three male leads.

Donghyuck threw an arrow on Renjun’s knees. Renjun ends up losing his ability to walk. It was his punishment for all the wrong things he had done. Normally, threatening the life of the future partner of the Crown Prince leads to execution. But the oh-so-perfect Jaemin begged the Emperor and Donghyuck not to have Renjun executed but to allow him to live instead. Peacefully, somewhere far away where Renjun could no longer be near them.

Renjun died alone. With no one to take care of him. No memories of happiness, for everyone left him behind.

_‘Is that... supposed to be my ending too?’_

True that Injun wished to be someone else. Only he did not expect to be Renjun of all characters in the novel.

He sighed, tracing the outline of his reflection in the mirror.

“In the end, you still hate me, God.”

***

“Young Master? It’s time for dinner,” the same man who greeted him earlier knocked on his door before stepping in. He is followed by a couple of attendants who served under him, multiple trays filled with a variety of dishes on their hands.

Suddenly, Injun felt his stomach growling in hunger. Right, he had not eaten anything ever since he woke up except for the bitter medicine the doctor provided earlier that day. And now, the power of hunger finally gets to him.

“I specifically asked the maids and the head chef to prepare your favorites. Of course, I make sure they are all healthy and are fit to Young Master’s tastes,” the short attendant smiled.

Injun did not say anything but instead stare as he watches the maids do everything for him. It was a sight he never expected to see and experience his entire life. The mouthwatering smile is not of help either.

“Right after this, you should take your medicines again and go back to rest. It is to make sure Young Master will regain his strength as soon as possible. Everyone is worried about you.”

 _‘Liar.’_ Worried? Who is worried about whom now? Injun knows the storyline of this novel despite forgetting its existence for the past few years. Even if Renjun was bedridden for weeks or even months, no one but his lowly attendants would visit him. And even then, it is simply out of responsibility.

Renjun is not loved by the Duke, his father. And more so by his younger brother who is barely home.

If Injun is right, the only person who shows just a little bit of consideration to Renjun is his personal maid. And if his calculations were right it is him, the servant standing and addressing him with a kind smile. Ten.

“Do you want me to feed you, Young Master? Are you too tired at the moment? Here, let me do the work for y-”

“There is no need. I can do this on my own but...” Injun gave Ten a glance. “...Thank you.”

Injun flinched when Ten dropped the silver tray he is currently holding. He looks at him with wide eyes but is surprised to meet Ten’s even wider ones.

“W-What?” ‘Did I say something wrong?’

Ten, with his mouth still agape, shook his head like a child. “N-No,” he mumbles. “Just... Young Master never said his thanks to this lowly servant before. It’s the first.”

 _‘Ah, right.’_ Renjun is a selfish character. Therefore, there was never a part of a chapter in the novel where Renjun showed his gratification towards other people, especially his servants. Was he supposed to act like that too?

Nah, he decided against it. He could be Renjun but at the same time, he is not.

Instead, he gave Ten a gentle smile. And maybe it was too much because all the other servants looked at him as if he were a ghost. \Even this, the original Renjun would not dare do this.’

_‘But it’s me. And I kinda... wanna smile today? Hopefully, it’s okay.’_

“I’ll eat this well, Ten.”

***

_“Injun, you worthless kid! We raised you well and this is how you repay us?!”_

_“Look what you did to your mother! She fainted because of you! Because you’re an ungrateful son who would turn his back on his family for someone who is not even worthy of you!”_

_“You are irresponsible. How can we trust you if you can’t even make a wise decision for yourself?!”_

_“We wish you were not our son.”_

_“Go ahead and leave with that kid! See what will happen once you threw away your future for that God-forsaken bastard!”_

_“You are a disappointment in this family.”_

_“It’s okay, Injun. You have me. I promise I got you, I won’t let you go. I’ll love you forever.”_

_“Sejin...”_

_“You fucking slut! Strip and kneel, you bitch!”_

_“Sejin please, it hurts! Please!”_

_“Please! It hurts... please. Ahh!”_

Injun woke up sweating buckets, panting, and filling his lungs with air. For a moment, everything felt so real. And it does, at least his tears are.

With shaky and sweaty hands he ran a finger over his pink locks. He looked around him in horror, afraid that any moment now he would be back in that hell of an apartment and Sejin would be lying next to him.

_‘No, calm down. It’s not... You’re not there. You’re not there. He’s gone.’_

“He’s gone...”

But the pain isn’t. The rough, calloused hands of Sejin carelessly wondering over his naked skin is imprinted in his mind it’s impossible to forget. And though in front of the mirror it’s a different face he saw, still he feels dirty. The heavyweight of his nightmares falling on top of him, kissing his soul and making sure it’ll leave a mark. A mark to haunt him forever.

Injun covered his ears and buried his face on his knees, crying silently. Everything hurts. You’d think it’ll all just disappear magically just because something unexpected happens- dare he say a miracle even, then they’re all wrong. After all, life is still full of nightmares. Even for a character like Renjun, Injun is nothing but an added pain to this already poor soul.

For the first time in a while, Injun felt the fear coveting his bones and head. He is not Renjun. He does not belong here. He is afraid of what will happen to him. He does not wanna live in hell anymore. If this were a second chance given to him, he should at least do something to change his written fate, right?

Renjun is bound to die at the end of the novel. Unbeknownst to everyone and the author does not exactly give a full detailed description about it, Renjun’s character is suffering from an incurable illness. It is only hinted at Chapter 22 when Renjun lost consciousness after spending the night at a ball where Donghyuck announced his relationship with Jaemin. That night, something bad also happened towards Jaemin. The one that Jaemin drank was later found out to be poisoned when the heroine collapsed in front of the Prince, puking blood. It is easy to name the culprit. After all, there is only one person who hated Jaemin in the kingdom- Renjun. Nobles are either worried for the sick healer, or busy pointing a finger towards the latter. No one knew the truth by then, now that Injun thinks of it.

**_“Renjun, eager to leave the party after the incident, quickly made his way to the carriage. As soon as he’s out of everyone’s sight, only then was the villain able to take a deep breath. It is suffocating inside the castle, he thought. Other than that, mixed emotions pooled up his chest that the stuffy carriage gives him a hard time breathing._ **

**_“When he returned home, he expected to get a scolding from his father. But the Duke merely gave him a cold glance, which is worst than a reprimand. Renjun stormed out of the enormous living room and went straight to his room. The safest place where he could finally remove his mask and strip himself of the facade he’s been trying so hard to pull the whole night._ **

**_“Truth is, it was a mistake. The wine Jaemin drank is not meant for Jaemin himself. The young nobleman cursed the healer under gritted teeth. He specifically told the stupid blonde-haired male not to touch his stuff. But he still stubbornly did. In fact, what’s in that wine is not poison. But a drug. A medicinal drug Renjun especially ordered in secret for his illness. However, since it is a special medicine, if taken by a normal person who does not have the same illness as he, it could be poisonous. Therefore it is specially made only by request._ **

**_“”Stupid boy. Now everyone is accusing me of poisoning you. At the s-same time, I can’t... breathe...” All because Jaemin took his medicine. All because of one single mistake.”_ **

The author did not give a name or any specific details with Renjun’s supposed “illness”. But the fact that Renjun died immediately two years after he is sent to isolation and stripped off of his titles and wealth at the end of the novel, it must not be just because of poverty or loneliness. Maybe his illness has something to do with it too. Given no one knows of it, and he could not make any more requests for that special medicine he would take from time to time.

And come to think of it, Renjun is said to be unconscious until he fell into this world and occupied his body, right? _‘Maybe it’s because of that said illness too that Renjun was sick.’_

What a horrible, horrible fate it is given to him. Though he does not mind dying. After all, living is not exactly his dream either. This time first, he’d just find a way to survive. Renjun is meant to be a villain in this book, and he reaped the consequences of his actions out of jealousy and envy at the end. What if... he strayed away from the nature of his character? What if he decided not to be the villain anymore?

Would it be possible to change his horrible fate? Not that he seeks a happily ever after too. After all, Renjun is bound to die due to his sickness no matter what. It’s only a matter of time. But if he could die in peace- painless, and maybe while he’s in a deep deep sleep somewhere far away?

It would be nice. Isn’t that the goal?

He doesn’t need love. He doesn’t need attention. Or too much wealth, or power. If he could just stay away from trouble and live quietly as if he did not exist, wouldn’t that be the ideal life he’d always dreamed of before?

Maybe with this second chance, he could fulfill it.

He will not ask for much, as he realized the hard way that dreaming for a happy life is not always granted. But a peaceful life might not be too impossible.

This time, he will aim for that instead of his happiness.

***

The question now is... what should he do to achieve that goal? It’s a good thing Injun has the upper hand as he knows everything that will happen in the novel he is stuck in. He is very much familiar with the characters and he once dreamed of what-ifs if he were to rewrite the whole story.

 _‘Now it’s time to use those old ideas,’_ Injun smirked.

To avoid Renjun’s horrible ending, he just needs to stay away from one person. Jaemin. He needs to avoid all the unnecessary drama that comes with Jaemin’s arrival. Though with the current events and the fact that there’s Crown Prince Donghyuck’s letter of invitation for dinner resting on his bedside table, all fresh and new, means that Jaemin was yet to come. Jaemin’s appearance would be at the time Emperor Taeyong would hold a banquet to celebrate the Crown Prince’s engagement with Renjun. Injun still has a few weeks left, hopefully.

Anyway, the only reason why Renjun hated Jaemin anyway is that the latter captured the Crown Prince’s heart. And because he is a beauty? But who cares? Injun thinks Renjun is just being petty throughout the whole novel. It’s not Jaemin’s fault anyway. The one at fault is Donghyuck. That womanizer and manwhore Crown Prince who never once gave Renjun a bit ounce of affection.

Now that Injun thinks of it- heh! _‘Why is Donghyuck the male lead again?!’_

“What? Just because he changed for the better when Jaemin arrives? That doesn’t justify all the horrible things he did to Renjun! Or the white lies he whispered to all of his other lovers before Jaemin!” Injun cannot help but chuckle bitterly. Now that he’s all matured, surely the realization that the Prince Charming isn’t all that charming is getting to him.

After all, it’ll be Donghyuck who will ruin Renjun- or rather his- life. Donghyuck is the reason why Renjun felt betrayed. Because he did betray Renjun. Donghyuck is the reason why Renjun started blaming Jaemin for everything. Donghyuck is the reason why Renjun was not able to live a peaceful life.

Renjun’s world revolves around Donghyuck, he is blinded by his love for the latter. He blamed the wrong person all this time, not knowing that even without Jaemin Donghyuck will never treat him any better.

Injun nodded. “Right. To avoid this horrible fate, I need to cut ties with the Crown Prince.”

And what better way to do it than to cancel their engagement?


End file.
